


One More Time

by blxegansey



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxegansey/pseuds/blxegansey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan calls Adam on a drunken night.</p><p>Prompt: “I might have had a few shots.” on <a href="http://blxegansey.tumblr.com/post/150217399398/i-might-have-had-a-few-shots-for-pynch"> tumblr. </a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Excuse me.” Adam felt his phone buzzing in his coat’s front pocket. “I’ll have to take this.”  
He smiled at the expensively dressed men and women in front of him, then crossed the room in long hurried strides and answered the call just outside the glass door inscribed with his name.  
He had to double check when he saw the name flashing at him on his phone screen. It had been months since the drunken calls had ceased; their last contact had been a bitter text full of pain, promising no more calls.

“Ronan?” He smiled curtly as one of the partners passed him by, but inside him a cocktail of paradoxical emotions fought to take over the reins.  
“Can you come and get me?” Ronan’s voice cut like a sharp knife, different and yet the same as so long ago. Adam detected a hint of something in his voice- pain or alcohol, or a mixture of both.  
“Where are you?” Adam could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest, worry and longing melting his heart in his chest.

\---

He turned the wheel with his hand, his foot firmly pushing the pedal. He was fairly certain the address Ronan had given him was to a bar. With every block he passed, Adam grew more and more sure that this was one of those nights that he’d find Ronan bloody and bruised.  
He finally arrived at the location, a sordid-looking bar with decade-old grime covering the windows. Adam quickly got out of his car and walked to the front of the bar, passing a homeless man lying near the curb.  
“Adam,” the whisper came from behind him. Perplexed, he turned to see the homeless man standing behind him. It was hard to see at first, but it was definitely Ronan under the grubby clothing and the unshaved beard.  
“I didn’t think you’d come,” Ronan cast his eyes at the ground, not meeting Adam’s horrified gaze, “Not after-”  
“Of course I would come,” Adam moved closer, not letting Ronan finish his sentence. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah,” Ronan laughed a hearty chuckle, “I’m fucking fantastic!”  
“Ronan!” Adam had to grab him by the arms to stop him from falling as he whirled around. Ronan stopped dancing around at the touch of his hand, his eyes finally meeting Adam’s.  
“I’m sorry,” he jerked himself free of Adam’s hands, “I shouldn’t have called you. There’s too much-”  
“I’ll just drive you home.” Adam interrupted again. “Nothing to worry about.”  
Ronan whirled around towards the street. “Is this your new car?”  
“Not mine, company car.” Adam corrected.  
“It looks brilliant anyways.” He touched the side of the car clumsily, then leaned on it in an effort not to fall. Then he continued, a sheepish smile adorning his face. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”  
“Don’t.” Adam sighed, placing his hands in his trousers pockets out of habit.  
“Oh, come on!” Ronan stepped forward, stopping only an inch away from Adam, “Don’t tell me you haven’t missed me.”  
“Ronan, just-” Adam was cut short as Ronan filled the distance between them, hugging him tightly. Adam smelt the stench of alcohol before he felt the wet trickle of tears as Ronan nestled his head on his shoulder.  
“I’ve missed you,” he sighed, his hands digging into the back of Adam’s suit.  
“Is that why you’re in New York?” Struggling to keep his voice level, Adam closed his eyes to prevent tears from falling. “To see me?”  
Ronan lifted his face, his overgrown beard tickling Adam’s clean-shaven face. He stroked the side of his face with a hand, then he inched his face closer to Adam’s. Slowly, he placed his tear-covered lips to his. Adam kissed him back just for a second before pulling away and stepping back.  
“Fuck!” Ronan stepped back too, hitting the car behind him. After a long silence, he continued, “Sorry, I guess I’ve just had one too many shots tonight. I’ll take a cab or something.”  
“No,” Adam fished for his car keys inside his pocket, ignoring the stubborn tears welling up in his eyes, “I’ll just give you a ride.”  
“Thanks,” Ronan reached for the door handle, missing it by a few inches.  
Adam extended an arm and opened the passenger door for Ronan as he was fumbling with the door handle with no results. Ronan flinched his hand away as their fingers touched, then hopped inside the car as soon as the door was open. Adam walked around the car, cursing under his breath.  
“It’s nice,” Ronan said as Adam got in on the other side. He started playing with some buttons, sliding the window up and down with drunken fascination.  
“Where to?” Adam started the car, and turned to Ronan for a destination.  
“It’s straight ahead,” Ronan pointed the direction, his head resting on the window pane, an invisible smile moving his bushy beard.  
Adam drove ahead for a few minutes in silence as Ronan hummed to himself, something that sounded vaguely familiar to Adam’s ear.  
“Where now?” he had reached an intersection, the street was empty of any other cars. He turned to the passenger seat as there came no answer; Ronan’s head was still leaning on the window, his legs tucked under him on the seat. Adam sighed and turned left, driving to his own apartment instead.

 

\---

 

As the car screeched to a halt in Adam’s assigned parking spot, Ronan woke up, but stayed still. Adam could see the beads of sweat forming on his brow, the panic written all over his face, his eyes-the only part of him moving- widening, wandering around until he found Adam’s.  
“Ronan?” Adam whispered, taking Ronan’s hand- a memory of their time together. His heart started beating faster, whether out of concern for Ronan or just because of their hands touching. Ronan’s heart slowed down and his breathing grew more even as Adam held his motionless hand in silence. A few minutes passed in silence, then Ronan’s hand tightened around Adam’s.  
“I’m okay,” he muttered, facing a worried Adam. “I’m fine.”  
But the tears rolling down his eyes said otherwise. Ronan squeezed Adam’s hand one more time before releasing it.

 

\---

Ronan whistled approvingly as Adam opened the door to his apartment. He hung his coat by the door and offered to take Ronan’s jacket- if it could have been called that.  
“Nice digs, Parrish,” he turned around taking in the living room; sparsely, but beautifully, decorated in shades of green, books arranged in neat stacks on every other surface.  
“Make yourself at home,” Adam, then, added eying him warily, “Would you like something?”  
“Beer would be nice.” Ronan sat on the sofa, spreading his legs on the space on the table that was unoccupied books.  
“No beer for you,” Adam grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, “You’ve had more than your share of drinks tonight.”  
“You sound like Gansey,” Ronan pouted, but his voice showed no sign of annoyance.  
Adam chuckled, handing him the bottle of water, “You might want to take a shower.”  
“Thanks.” Ronan didn’t meet his eyes as he took the bottle. “You didn’t have to bring me here, though.”  
Adam couldn’t help but notice the bitterness in Ronan’s voice- but what else was there to expect?  
“You didn’t give me an address before you fell asleep.”  
“Right, sorry,” Ronan emptied the bottle and finally taking his feet off the table, placed the bottle on the now empty space.  
“Where have you been staying? Another hotel?”-Ronan nodded his answer- “How long have you been in New York?”  
“Long enough,” Ronan got up, towering over Adam just a few inches, “Where’s the bathroom?”

 

\---

 

Adam idly paged through a book as he waited for Ronan to get out of the shower. He felt the fatigue of the day slowly swaying him to sleep. He was thinking of the last time he’d seen Ronan right before he fell asleep.  
It was more than a year ago that Adam had left behind a devastated Ronan and an angry Cabeswater. Ronan had been understanding, sad, but still understanding. Cabeswater, on the other hand, didn’t need Adam any more, but demanded him to stay nonetheless.  
Adam remembered how at the last moments Ronan had asked him to stay; his eyes pleading, his hands pulling him closer, his mouth begging hungry kisses off Adam.  
“You know I can’t stay here any more.” Adam tried to pull away from Ronan, his eyes showing his emotions in the form of tears. “I was never going to stay.”  
“Goddamn it, Parrish,” Ronan pulled Adam by his collar, their mouths almost touching. “Just take me with you.”  
“I can’t,” Adam felt a lonely teardrop roll down his cheek, “You can’t.”  
“Parrish!” Adam jumped at the sound of his name, he was back in his New York living room.  
“Huh?” As he slowly opened his eyes, a towel-clad Ronan came into focus. “What?”  
“Sofa or bed?” Ronan demanded, hands perched on his waist.  
“Hmmm?”  
“Jesus.” Ronan rolled his eyes at him.  
Adam finally noticed that he had shaved his beard and also the short growth on his head. A smile unconsciously formed on his lips.  
“You take the bed, I’ll just lie down here.” He was fully awake at last; he picked the upside-down book off his lap, shifted his weight in the armchair and composed himself.  
“No way,” Ronan reached a hand toward him- his towel almost falling before he caught it with the other hand. “You need more rest than I do.”  
Adam accepted the offered hand and rose, following, then leading Ronan to his bedroom.  
Once inside the room, Ronan let go of Adam’s hand, freezing at the sight of his double bed.  
“Come on,” Adam beckoned to him to come in. “I’m sure you’ve had enough of crappy hotel beds.”  
“Wouldn’t your boyfriend or girlfriend mind?”  
“There’s no one.”


	2. Chapter 2

Adam woke up in the middle of the night, the image of a dreamt kiss sealed on his eyes, the taste lingering on his lips. He turned to his side to find the bed empty with just wrinkles remaining on the sheets.  
He climbed out of bed and grudgingly walked to the living room. After he adjusted his eyes to the unwelcome light of the room, he saw a Ronan shaped figure sprawled on the sofa, a book covering the better half of his face.  
As Adam took a few steps forward, he saw a bottle of whiskey dangling in Ronan’s hand on the side of the sofa. Adam cleared his throat, and as he did, Ronan lifted the book off his face, revealing a smile; half despondent, half blissful.  
Adam had to smile back. “Bad dreams?”  
“Couldn’t fall asleep.” Ronan sat up and put the book down on the table. With an intent gaze he regarded Adam for a bit, then picked the book off his chest and placed it on the table. “Too much on my mind.”  
“Greywaren stuff for Cabeswater?” Adam inquired, taking a seat next to Ronan.  
“Nah,” Ronan leaned back in his seat, his head almost touching Adam’s. “There’s just something on my mind.”  
“Yeah?” Adam contemplated telling Ronan what was on his mind.  
“You could actually help with that.”  
“What is that?” Adam’s heartbeat rose in a crescendo, hopeful and anxious about what Ronan might say next.  
“I was wondering-” Ronan fixed Adam with the intensity of his stare, “I’ve been wondering for some time.”  
He stopped, picked up the bottle and took a gulp.  
“Go on.” Adam urged him on. He was suddenly aware of how close their faces were to each other and the memory of last night’s drunken kiss kept coming back to him.  
“Why did you do that?” It took Adam just a moment to realize that he wasn’t referring to the kiss, and he remembered what he actually meant. He tried not to think of how he had felt that day, breaking up with him had been hard enough for him, and he couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Ronan. Ronan’s watery eyes made it hard for Adam to keep his guilt and regret at bay. “Why did you leave?”  
“Ronan, please, let’s not go there again.” He shifted himself away, putting a little distance between them. “I’ve explained it time and time again. I can’t work here and be there in Henrietta with you.”  
“You mean you can’t be with me and you just use your fucking job as an excuse.” He moved close to Adam, his slouching form rising over Adam, a threatening look on his face.  
“My job is what I’ve been working so hard to achieve, it’s my life.”  
“And I’m not?”  
“You’re...” he left his sentence unfinished and just looked at Ronan, his eyes were now imploring Adam to continue.  
Their lips were now just an inch apart, a warm invitation beckoning Adam to take a step towards what he most desired. He closed his eyes, gathering all he had not to say what he really meant to. But he had to.  
“You’re...” Adam opened his eyes, “You were so much more important than anything and I was too blind to see that-unlike anything else I wanted in my life- I didn’t need any effort to have you.”  
Adam was painfully aware of his words’ effects on Ronan. He felt the weight of Ronan’s gaze on him.  
Adam closed his eyes, gathering all he had not to let the tears drop. But he couldn’t.  
Opening his eyes, he turned to Ronan; his eyes were on Adam, doubtful and exploring.  
Adam wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, then leaned in close to Ronan. He touched the side of his face with the tips of his fingers and waited for Ronan to brush him away or pull back. When nothing of the sort happened Adam inched his face closer, his lips closing the distance between them. He closed his eyes and as soon as their lips touched he heard a whisper of leaves rustling. He barely made out the word Greywaren, but he just ignored Cabeswater, just as he had done for the past couple of years.  
Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.  
“I’ve missed you,” Ronan whispered against his lips, hungrily seeking more of him.  
Kissing back, Adam replied, “I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed this.” His other hand skated across Ronan’s muscles, “And this.”  
“Hmmm,” Ronan didn’t say much in reply and just kept on kissing Adam’s lips, as if to make up for all the lost time. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s body, shifting his weight toward himself, Adam’s body half-landing in his lap.  
Adam took Ronan’s face in his hands, a smile appearing on his lips. He saw the smile’s reflection grinning back at him on Ronan’s mouth. Unable to hold himself away from the lips he had deprived himself of for so long, he leaned in, lips lingering on lips, teeth and tongues meeting.  
Having craved each other for so long and from so far away, their bodies started moving in unison; their distance-stricken mouths seeking one another as their fumbling hands grabbed naked skin, skin touching, flesh grinding against flesh with a bothersome veil of cloth in between.

It was like their own personal ritual; ancient and sacred, half-forgotten but forever-cherished.

Adam’s hand slid under Ronan’s shirt, taking in the familiar fell of his skin under Adam’s.  
Ronan pulled his face away, terse arms pushing Adam away. “Let’s not do this.”  
“What?” Startled, Adam shifted, looking at Ronan drink some more whiskey. “Why?”  
“Let’s not- I don’t want to have hope only to realize you just wanted a good fuck.”  
“Ronan.” Adam, horrified, took the bottle from Ronan, taking a swig. Then went on, a little more courage in him. “That’s not- this isn’t. Oh God.” He shook his head and took Ronan’s hand. “This is- you mean a whole damn lot more than that to me.”  
“Whatever I mean to you,” Ronan pulled his hand free of Adam’s grasp. “I don’t want a one night thing. In fact I don’t want anything from you.”  
“Ronan, please.”  
“Come on, Adam. You can’t just have your fun with me, make me fall in love with you over and over again just to leave me for a fancy job in a fancy firm.”  
“It’s different now,” he said, cautiously taking Ronan’s hands. He had forgotten how consuming and grounding his love for Ronan was, how easy and natural it was for him. “Now, I’d rather leave my fancy job and my fancy city to have you back in my life. I don’t want anything more.”  
Ronan’s elusive smile lit Adam on fire, burning him brighter and faster than ever before,  
“I want this,” Adam whispered against Ronan’s ear. “I want you.”  
“Hmmm,” Ronan didn’t respond, clearly perplexed by Adam’s sudden interest in rekindling their romance.  
“I was a selfish fool, only thinking about myself, disregarding the consequences.” he kissed Ronan again, this time on his bare collarbone, right on top of a new tattoo adorning his skin- some trees, maybe for Cabeswater, or even for Adam. “this is- this is more important to me than some fucking job.”  
“Are you sure about this?” Ronan whispered, gently holding Adam’s face up with a hand, eyes fixing him with a stare brimming with his feelings, “We can never go back from this.”  
“I don’t want us to be apart any more. Never again.” Adam smiled, sealing it with a kiss; first of many more to come.

 

\------

 

Adam woke up on the first annoying ring of his alarm clock. Sitting up, he looked around to find the other side of his bed empty. He sighed, assured that the kisses- and whatever had followed-had been part of a really good dream.  
He wasn’t out of bed yet when a light knock on the bedroom door turned his head to see Ronan leaning on the door frame, a smug smirk turning his mouth up.  
“Are you leaving for work?” He punctuated his question with a raised eyebrow. “After all the fun that we had last night?”  
Adam had to check to assure himself of the lack of sarcasm in Ronan’s voice, but the fact that he didn’t completely remember all that happened kept taunting him with questions and doubts. He kept thinking of that moment, of the coarse lips pressed against his, of hands gliding over skin; but that was all he could remember. Everything else was a blur.  
“What really happened last night?” he asked, addressing the floor beneath his feet rather than Ronan.  
“You don’t remember?” Ronan stepped closer. “I guess you’re a little less used to drinking whole bottles of whiskey than I am.”  
“Oh, so that’s what happened.” He considered his hands, curled fingers buried in his lap. “Did we-”  
Ronan knelt in front of him, his face right in front of Adam’s, intense blue eyes studying him. “Nothing nasty happened. Don’t you worry your pretty head.”  
He averted his eyes from Adam’s and was about to rise.  
Adam reached out his hand, gripping Ronan’s arm. “There’s still time.”  
“For what?” Ronan pulled away and stood up. “For you to make me feel shittier? Or for you to make yourself better for even a few minutes?”  
“For me to try to fix things.”  
“Hmmm, that’s a new concept.” He sat next to Adam on the bed. “How’d you wanna do that?”  
“Honesty.” Adam turned his head to see Ronan’s eyes reflected back at him. He realized how close their faces were, their hands were placed next to each other on the surface of the bed, their fingers were almost touching, almost reaching. He turned his head away, face turned downwards, eyes cast on the carpet again. “You know I regretted leaving even when-” he closed his eyes. “I felt so alone without you. Incomplete and inadequate. I hated my life. I hated myself. Still do. ”  
He opened his eyes, causing two droplets of tear to fall down on the carpet. As he watched the tiny circular stain spread, long fingers wrapped themselves around his.  
“I know.” Ronan’s voice came closer than it should have, it sounded as if he was whispering it in Adam’s ear. Then Adam felt a wet something drop on his shoulder, right before Ronan put his head in the nook of his neck.

 

\----

Epilogue 

“Are you ready for this?”  
Adam’s lips found Ronan’s, an answer truer and simpler than anything he might have said. He looped his hand around Ronan’s neck, touching the tip of his tattoo.  
Ronan stepped forward and extended his hand to Adam. Taking Ronan’s offered hand, Adam walked alongside him, the warmth of his hand strengthening him. As they were on the edge of the forest, Adam’s heart started beating faster. Ronan looked at him, gently squeezing his hand, with a reassuring smile.  
As they set foot inside the forest- past the protective sentinels they had set up together years ago to keep out any trespassers- Adam was awash with feelings; regret, nostalgia, and old sacred friendship. He turned towards Ronan, smiling at him. Taking in his rugged appearance, his grassy scent and the feel of his hand in his, his restless soul found peace again. He and Ronan were reunited and he finally felt at home again, besides his farmer boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I'm going to write more.


End file.
